Tool
Shift the lens
All tools
What: A short exercise that helps you swap an accusing interpretation for a benevolent one – before the conversation.
Why: Our first interpretation of why someone did ”wrong” is often harsh and triggers defence in both. A benevolent interpretation opens curiosity instead.
How: Write your spontaneous interpretation, then write one assuming the other person means well, and flip the card.
Your first interpretation
What is your spontaneous thought about WHY the other person did wrong?
Write an interpretation assuming the other person means well:
Benevolent interpretation
Nice. Holding two interpretations at once opens curiosity instead of defence. Take the benevolent one into the conversation.